Blog 90: Mindful Motherhood: What Happens When Mums Choose Themselves Wise Words from Tal
Mindful motherhood tips to reconnect, reset, and feel like you.
Introduction
Mindfulness isn’t about sitting cross-legged on a mountain while your children fight over who had the blue cup first. It’s about meeting yourself in the mess—and choosing to pause anyway.
In this empowering conversation with Tal Rafel—psychotherapist, yoga teacher, and mum of two—we uncover how ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience merge to offer mums a lifeline in overwhelm. Tal shares why you’re more mindful than you think, how to start where you are, and why your selfcare isn’t just for you—it’s a legacy you pass on.
I had the pleasure of meeting her at the Yoga retreat in March this year. What an amazing soul! I learned so much from her and her wisdom!
Introduction: Tal, tell me about yourself, your personality, and your passion. How do you serve yourself? Also, how do you serve the community?
My name is Tal; I am a mamma of two beautiful kids, a Yoga/Meditation teacher, a psychotherapist and a holistic coach. I am also, first and foremost, a student and lover of Yoga and spirituality. I am so passionate about Yoga; I love everything about it, and even though I have been studying it in various ways for the last 15 years, I have barely scratched the surface. I am not naturally calm, although people always think I am. I am someone who had a chaotic childhood and has spent many years healing and understanding my past, so I cannot be driven by it.
I am creative and passionate, throwing myself full speed ahead into projects and people I love. The way I serve myself is by unlearning my conditioned responses. I make sure I take time out to move my body, meditate, and spend time with my friends. I openly and honestly share what I am struggling with my safe people. I invest in myself without apology in courses, hobbies and studying with my teachers and mentors. This was not always the case, I felt a lot of guilt and difficulty around this. I now believe in my bones that this is how I best serve my community, myself and my family.
I serve my community by using my gifts to teach, lead and help others. This can be through retreats, 1:1 work, classes or workshops. I also believe in Seva - service and paying things forward, so I do a combination of work where I am paid and a lot of pro bono work as I recognise not everyone can afford therapy, coaching and classes, yet everyone deserves to have access to it.
10 Questions for Tal
1. “You blend the magical with the evidence-based – what does that look like in your yoga and mindfulness classes?”
Beautiful question: in simple terms, I like to draw on giving people an understanding of the why and the what of Yoga and Mindfulness from a theoretical framework. Why does this work, what am I doing, and what is the point? What is happening in my brain and body that makes this practice feel like it does? We are living in an exciting time where research is robust and shows us the benefits of meditation and yoga. We have access to MRI scans that show us physical changes in the brain that occur with only 6 weeks of practice. However, the magical aspect of this practice cannot be read about; it cannot be studied or explained. It is an experiential process.
At some point, we must throw out the books, talk less, surrender to doing, show up, commit to the practice, and allow ourselves to experience it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly. This really does inform the way I teach. I like to give people some understanding, and I think this can help our modern minds make sense of things, I also think we modern folk have become incredibly, perhaps even too, good at analysing and talking, and we need to drop out of the head and into the body, the heart and the felt experience. You will get a rich blend of both from my classes and workshops.
2. “What would you say to a busy mum who thinks she ‘doesn’t have time’ for mindfulness?”
I would say she is probably already doing more than she thinks; if we can expand our perspective on mindfulness, then anything we do can become a practice. Mums already have so much they are carrying. Mindfulness should not be another thing that feels like a heavy burden to tick off our list. However, with a little tweak here and there and voila. You can begin to find consistency and stability in your mindfulness practice. As perhaps your capacity grows, so can your practice. The best part is when you allow yourself to start slow, the desire to engage more with these practices naturally grows over time.
- “What’s the biggest ‘aha’ you’ve witnessed in your one-on-one coaching with mums?”
The biggest aha moments that I witness time and time again are when mothers begin to view their mental and physical health as the biggest act of love that they can give their children. Many of us have been conditioned to give and give and give to the detriment of our wellbeing. We then feel shame when we explode or behave in ways we don't want to. When mothers see themselves as their family's beating heart, they see it as their moral duty to take care of this heart with so much love, and their children learn so much from this. They learn self-love, they learn boundaries, they learn to value themselves, and they learn that their joy is important, too. When the mother gifts this to herself, everyone benefits.
- Can you share a simple practice a mum could do in 2 minutes that might help her reset her energy and mood?”
This is hard, can I pick two?
One is the power of five mindful breaths. Breathe in through the nose, hold for a moment, squeeze fists and face, open the mouth, and exhale slowly. Repeat 4-5 times and watch your parasympathetic system come back online.
The second is my favourite- find your dopamine playlist. I have a music playlist that when I’m feeling stressed, frustrated, agitated, or just tired, I put on, I get the music loud, and I sing and shout and let it all out. My kids love this, too, and often, it stops a meltdown for us all in its tracks. The research on dance, singing and music as a huge mood stabiliser is incredible.
- You also run community circles. What magic happens when mums gather in safe spaces like that?” I love the way you teach.
The biggest and most profound thing I see is a huge sigh of relief. When people share or sit in the circle, they hear their stories reflected and refracted in the stories of others. They realise that their struggle is not as unique as they think. The shame they have been carrying with how they struggle and the fears they carry that they are too scared to share melt away as they see this as a common experience. Not all mothers enjoy pregnancy; not all mothers are calm, and not all mothers feel it's easy peasy. I would argue most don't! As Ann Voskamp so eloquently said, "Shame dies when stories are told in safe places". This is the power of a well-held circle.
6. What’s a common misconception about mindfulness or yoga that you LOVE busting?”
Yoga has nothing to do with touching your toes and Mindfulness has nothing to do with sitting on a mountain top in Mala beads smelling of Patchouli.
- “For mums feeling disconnected from themselves, where’s a good place to start reconnecting?”
Find your tribe; if you are in the early days, make it somewhere easy and local; if you are in the later years, it is important to fill your cup with the community. Find a studio, teacher, or facilitator that fosters community. Not all spaces are the same; if you tried one and didn’t like it, keep searching. Move your body in ways that feel good for you; when we move our body, we move our brain! Oh, and remember the power of vulnerability. It opens people up to real connection.
- What’s your go-to grounding ritual on a day when everything feels chaotic?”
When my kids were tiny, someone told me that when things were getting chaotic, just add water! To this day, I use it when things are feeling crazy; maybe it's illness in the house or day 10 of solo parenting; I just add water. I get my kids in the bath/the pool/or play with the hose in the garden. I get myself in the shower or bath and wake up my senses. I smell the soap; I listen to the water and become present with how I feel. I add water, breathe, and remind myself I got this.
- “If a mum is curious but a bit shy about joining a workshop or circle—what would you love her to know?”
You don’t have to talk; there is plenty of medicine to be received by just being there. A good circle will have a facilitator who makes that known.
10. Something I Wish People Knew About Me?
I am not always calm. I have done therapy and worked on my own healing, and any wisdom you hear in me comes from my own pain and life experiences. We are all just doing the best we can, and as Annie says, the sun will come out tomorrow!
If people are interested in following you, please provide your details:
Courses and meditations on my website. 5-part Yoga and Meditation course on website. Free Yoga Nidra on websites More meditations coming soon to insight timer.
How to work with me (Tal):
I hold Workshops for corporate, personal retreats or groups of friends wanting to learn more.
Classes- I teach at My Asana in Vaucluse
1:1 - I see people 1:1 as a Psychotherapist/Coach or Yoga/ Meditation teacher. I often combine several modalities with supporting you with whatever you are working within your life.
Retreats- I host retreats on a variety of topics all related to Mind, Body Psychology integration
Tal’s Offering:
Releasing a deck on Mamma Mantra cards towards the end of August. Follow her on Instagram for updates on retreats, release of courses, and a discount code for the mantra cards.
Here is a sneak peak of the mantra cards that will be available in August:
To summaries
5 key takeaways
1. Mindfulness isn't a task—it's a way of being. You're probably already doing it without realising it.
2. Healing starts with honesty. Tal's journey reminds us that showing up messy is still showing up.
3. Science supports the magic. Just 6 weeks of mindfulness can change your brain.
4. Movement = medicine. The body holds the key, whether breathwork or blasting your dopamine playlist.
5. You are the heartbeat of your family. When you're well, your entire home shifts.
Top Quotes
Tal like these quotes:
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”. Viktor Frankl
“Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces.” — Ann Voskamp
Mukti like these quotes:
“Restore connection… the sense of belonging that allows us to be who we are.” Brené Brown
“The magic can’t be studied—it must be lived.” Soren Kierkegaard
“The most important thing a woman can do for herself and her family is to take care of her own soul.” Barbara De Angelis
“What if the most productive thing you could do today is rest?” Leah Penniman
“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” Brené Brown
3 Questions for Reflection
1. Where in your day could you add a moment of mindful pause?
2. What story about motherhood or selfcare are you ready to let go of?
3. What kind of mum do you want your children to remember you as—and how does she feel inside?
Conclusion
You don’t need to wait for the chaos to settle to start feeling like yourself again. The magic happens in the mess—one mindful breath, one honest moment, one small act of self-love at a time.
Whether you’re dancing it out in the kitchen, taking five deep breaths between tantrums, or finally joining that circle you’ve been curious about—you’re showing up. And that matters.
You’re not too busy, too late, or too broken. You’re evolving. And every time you choose to come home to yourself, you’re planting seeds of calm, strength, and connection—for you and your family.
You’ve got this, lovely. And I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
Connect with me:
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With much Love
Mukti 💫
“When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough to make room for it in your life.” Jean Shinoda Bolen
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