Blog 91:From Surviving to Thriving: Mukti Santos on Motherhood, Wellness & Coming Back to Myself!

Mum’s journey from burnout to wellness through rest and selfcare.

Introduction

More than Eleven Years Ago… A Mama Was Born

It all started with a tiny and beautiful baby boy—just 10 weeks old—and a mum (me) who refused to ask for help, thinking I can do it all!

I wore the "strong mum" badge with pride. I thought I had to do it all. I smiled on the outside while silently feeling exhausted and resentful.

Yes, I got some help, which was bliss. However, I did not know how to receive assistance well then. I am much better now.

Other people in my life offered help. I took it, feeling hopeful… only to find out later that they didn't have the space to help. That hurt, not just the rejection but the realisation that this journey can feel lonely.

I remember those early days when my son napped, and instead of resting, I'd wash dishes or clean the house. I thought rest was indulgent. A reward I hadn't earned yet. If I could go back, I'd whisper to myself: “Rest, love. The mess can wait. You matter, too."

A Note on My Story- Disclaimer

In this blog, I share my personal journey—my raw and honest experience of early motherhood. I understand that others involved may have seen things differently, and I truly believe that everyone was doing the best they could at the time with the tools and awareness they had. There is no resentment or criticism in what I share. These were my feelings and my truths in those moments.

It's also important to acknowledge that I struggled with receiving support back then. I wasn't great at it, and that's a skill I'm still working on today—though I've come a long way from the mum I was 11 years ago.

This story is told not to blame but to shed light on the internal experiences many mums silently carry. Reading it makes you feel seen, validated, and less alone.

Think of a glass of water.

You pick it up. It's full. You take a sip, maybe finish it, and then put it down. No stress. No strain. Your body feels fine.

But now imagine holding that same full glass all day-from morning until bedtime. Your hand starts to ache, your arm tenses and your shoulder gets sore. You feel the weight in your body, even though the water hasn't changed.

That's precisely what happens when you hold on to emotional burdens, Mumma-the guilt, the mental load, the "I should be doing more" thoughts.

They may seem small in the moment, but when you carry them all day, every day, they begin to weigh you down-not just emotionally but physically. Your body feels it, your nervous system holds it, and your energy drains from it.

So, ask yourself:

👉🏽 What are you still holding on to that's no longer serving you?

👉🏽 What would it feel like to put it down finally?

You don't have to carry everything.

You're allowed to rest. To heal. To breathe again.

You matter too, mumma.

When My Body Said “Enough”

Fast-forward to when my son was about 14 months old. I had returned to work four days a week. I was trying to do everything—mum, employee, wife, house manager, but my body was shutting down.

I was sore, exhausted, and depleted. I knew what I needed—just one simple, grounding thing: a hot Epsom salt bath.

But instead of taking it, I kept saying, "Not now. I don't have time for this kind of indulgence."

Weeks passed. I ignored the signs. Then came the crash.

One night, I finally listened. I ran the bath, put on a face mask, listened to my meditation track, and let the heat soak into my aching bones. I cried not from pain but from relief. That moment was a breakthrough.

That night, I realised something big: I had the time all along, but I wasn't using it in a way that honoured me.

You Don't Know What You Don't Know

Back then, I didn't know how much I was neglecting myself. I didn't know how much my beliefs around time, worthiness, and motherhood were keeping me stuck in survival mode.

But here's the truth: You don't know what you don't know.

We don't get to rewrite the past, but we do get to shape the future.

Advice, Judgement & Finding My Voice

One of the hardest parts of early motherhood? The unsolicited advice.

A family member told me—rather directly—how I should raise my child. It shook me. I was doing my best but still felt like I was failing. That moment stayed with me, but over time, it also inspired something powerful: I started trusting myself again.

I'll never forget the day I sat in a mums' group—my baby was just four months old—and another mum was talking about the book Raising Boys. I remember thinking: "Who has time to read right now?"

A few months later… that mum was me. The one reading. Growing. Evolving. And what began as resistance became curiosity, and eventually, passion.

Health Became My Compass

Health has always been important to me, but after becoming a mum, it became essential.

I began tuning into what I was feeding my family, how I was moving my body, and what kind of energy I was bringing into our home.

These days, I don't wait for the time, I make the time. Pilates, yoga, PT and strength sessions are scheduled in my calendar like any work meeting.

The other day, my daughter asked, "Mum, do you have to go to Pilates in the morning?" I told her, "Yes, because when mummy takes care of herself, she's a better mummy for you.”

I still have breakfast with my kids most days and dinner nearly every night. And yes, sometimes I say yes to a girls' night and no to another round of dishes. No guilt. Just love.

Grief & Grace: The Hidden Chapters

Both of my pregnancies were shadowed by grief—funerals for close family members on my husband's side. The emotional weight was heavy and navigating that while growing life inside me was… a lot.

But grief gave me perspective. It reminded me that life is fragile, time is precious, and selfcare isn't selfish-it's survival.

Now, I make space for joy, connection, and rest, and I teach other mums how to do the same.

The Importance of Rest and Recovery in the First 40 Days of Motherhood

Lately, I've been seeing more reels and posts on Instagram highlighting the sacred importance of the first 40 days after giving birth—a time to rest, bond, and connect deeply with your baby and partner. And honestly, I couldn't agree more.

This concept resonates culturally with both sides of our family. I'm Indian, and my husband is from El Salvador, and both our backgrounds honour the postpartum period as a time for deep rest and healing.

When I had my first baby, my mum travelled from Fiji to be with us. She cooked, cleaned, and showed me how to care for a newborn. And while I'm incredibly grateful for that support, I'll admit—I was stubborn. I told myself, "I'm fine. I've got this." I didn't fully receive the help I was offered.

Looking back now, I wish I had allowed myself to fully embrace those first 40 days-to truly slow down, to bond with my baby without guilt, and to let my body heal instead of pushing through.

What many people don't realise is that it can take up to 2.5 years for a woman's body to recover from pregnancy and childbirth fully. That's a long time—and it deserves to be honoured.

If I had the chance to do it all again, I would:

• Rest more
• Let others support me
• Say no when I didn't have the emotional or physical capacity
• And most importantly, treat rest as a necessity, not a luxury

To all the mums and mums-to-be you don't have to do it all. Honour your body. Protect your energy. Allow yourself the time to heal, because when you care for yourself, you care for your entire family.

From Survival to Service

After 12 months at home with my son, I returned to work four days a week. I kept Tuesday for just us—him and me.

Could I have done more? Maybe. But now, I choose to see what I did do: I showed up, I tried, and I loved everything I had.

And that's enough.

That's why I help other mums remember their "enoughness," too.

That's why reflection is powerful. So, I ask you:

✨ What is the story you want to show up as now?

✨ If you could go back, what would you change?

✨ And more importantly… what is your story now?

 What I've Learned as a Mum and a Coach

1. You Deserve to Be Well

If you're feeling burnt out, it's not because you're doing motherhood wrong. It's because you've forgotten to include yourself on the priority list.

2. SelfCare Isn't a Luxury-It's a Lifeline

Start small. A cup of tea/coffee in silence. A walk around the block. A moment to breathe. That's where it begins.

3. Your Dreams Are Still Alive

If something still calls to you—whether it's art, travel, study, or starting a business. You are meant for more.

Today, I Help Mums Rise

I'm Mukti, a wellness and personal growth coach for mums who are done living on autopilot.

Through 1:1 coaching, soulful blog posts, my growing Instagram community, and soon—my new membership space—I help mums like you go from surviving to thriving.

Because when a mum rises, the whole family rises with her.

Let's Stay Connected

Ready to feel better, brighter, and bolder-without burning out?

Here's how to stay close:

🌿 Subscribe to my Sunday Fortnightly Blog: www.muktisantos.com

📲 Follow on Instagram: @wellnessofmukti

Conclusion: Your Wellness Matters, Mumma

Motherhood is a beautiful, powerful journey, but it can also leave you feeling stretched, lost, and disconnected from yourself. I've lived that story. But I've also learned that when you nurture your wellness, growth, and energy, everything shifts—for you and your family.

If you've been running on empty, please know you don't have to keep surviving. You deserve to feel calm, strong, inspired, and joyful—right now, not "one day."

Let this be your reminder:

✨ Your needs matter.

✨ Your dreams still count.

✨ And your story is still being written.

I'm here to walk beside you, every step of the way—because when mums thrive, families flourish.

Connect with me:

👉 Do you have a friend or family member who would love this blog? Share it with them today and brighten their day! 💌✨

Do you have questions? Don’t be shy—drop me a line! I love chatting with our awesome community.

Feeling stuck in a rut and yearning for a life transformation?

🧘‍♂️ Coming Soon: Blog 92 (June 22)

In this next post, I sit down with the incredible Jorge, a holistic yoga teacher specialising in Chakra Yoga for wellbeing. I'm lucky to have regularly experienced his calming presence and powerful teaching, as he offers yoga sessions in our office.

We recently completed a full 7 Chakra Yoga journey over 7 weeks, both learning and practising, and it was nothing short of transformative. I can't wait to share Jorge's wisdom with you.

✨ Stay tuned, and thank you, Jorge, for your heart-centred teaching!

Hit Subscribe for a Special Treat! Sign up for a free PDF packed with quick 2-minute selfcare ideas. Imagine how just a few minutes of selfcare each day could transform your daily life, and how much more connected and present you could feel with your family and friends. Feel the difference when you're grounded and in tune with yourself. Don't miss out; subscribe now, plus tell your friends! Thank you!

Get ready for some transformative insights and super actionable tips to take your wellbeing to new heights! Keep that excitement buzzing-we're just getting started on your wellness journey! 

Live your Life on Purpose!

With much Love

Mukti 💫

" Live your life on purpose'.

Mukti Santos

Daily Journal Prompts to Anchor Your Week ✍️🌿

Mumma, here's a simple but powerful way to stay grounded and intentional-just a few minutes daily to check in with you. These journal prompts help you reconnect with your focus, gratitude, and energy as you move through the week (and beyond, if you choose!). 💛

Try these each day: